At the same time, no one makes it a goal to be single forever.
We all want love; we all want a partner to share our lives with.
Worrying can feel like it’s serving a purpose, but it’s not.
Instead, just keep it cool and calm, have faith that you will get the love you want when the time is right and try to just find happiness on your own until you get there.
It’s not that all the good guys are taken, it’s that maybe you’re so busy chasing the wrong guys and thinking they can give you what you want that you can’t see and appreciate all the good ones that come your way. Have really high expectations…and justify it by saying this is what you “deserve.” We all have certain criteria when it comes to a partner; some of these can be valid and others border on ridiculous.
We don’t know ourselves as much as we think we do and oftentimes what we think we want is not the same as what we actually need.
QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Destroying Your Love Life? It’s important to remember that issues don’t resolve themselves—you have to put forth some effort.
The harm is this is usually where you end up getting hurt because the more time you spend with him, the more your emotions take hold and drown out your objective reasoning, the part of you that knows it would never work out long-term with this guy. You know he isn’t going to commit in the way you want but you push that knowledge aside and you stay…because staying just seems easier than walking away and starting again.No matter what stage you’re in, it’s important to take a personal inventory—to look at the habits and choices that are helping you, and the ones that are hurting you.It’s not a matter of putting yourself out there more, of signing up for every dating site and side-swiping app—finding a truly amazing, healthy relationship is much more about being ready for such a relationship.If you want a certain kind of relationship, then date guys who want the same thing. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll never find better, maybe you’re afraid of being alone, maybe you rationalize that you’ve already invested this much time in the relationship so what’s a few more months or years? Sometimes the panic and anxiety oozing out of my single friends is so palpable I almost feel like I need a Xanax.
Yes, staying can be more comfortable, but think of it this way: as soon as you leave a going-nowhere situation, you are one big step closer to getting the love you actually want. Worrying about ending up alone gets you nowhere, the same way that worrying about what to eat for lunch doesn’t magically make a sandwich appear before you.We know that this doesn’t really make any sense, and yet we continue to operate from a default setting.